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The Ultimate Do’s and Don’ts To Make sure you Crush your Wedding Speech!

Wedding Speech at The Admiral Hornblower in Oakham Leicestershire | Luke Whittemore Photography

You’ve never written a speech before and the last presentation you gave was probably back in Junior school. When you had to tell the class just how you spent your entire summer holiday, throwing 2 pence coins down the arcade penny machines. Even back then, the sweats and anxiety were practically unbearable! Now you have to write one of the most sentimental speeches of your life.. What the heck, where do you even start?!
I know that paragraph has probably done nothing for your nerves, but have no fear!
I have compiled some great little tips here to help get you started and have you bossin’ that speech just like Leo in the Wolf of Wall Street.

Now, if you’ve read my mind dumps on this blog before, you’ll know that I’m not really one for the whole “Traditional Wedding” thing.. I know that that we can get so caught up in the tradition of Weddings that we often lose the sight of what makes our relationships, communities and family all unique.

This is where your true magic lies when pulling inspiration for your speech. If you’re able to make a connection with the people who you choose to share your day with you’ll be on to a winner.. Those lucky so ‘n’ so’s!

So, Exactly How do you write a Wedding Speech?

Father of the Bride giving his speech at Stapleford Park Country House, Melton, Leicestershire | Luke Whittemore Photography

Here’s your step by step guide to planning out and writing a speech that will be a hard hitter with all the guests. Whether you’re the Groom, Father of the Bride, Best Woman, Best Man, Bridesmaid, Bride.. Whoever you are or how you identify, these speech tips should help you get a little step closer to nailing that Wedding Speech.

Best Girls / Bridesmaids Speech at The West Mill Wedding Venue, Derbyshire | Luke Whittemore Photography

Father of the Bride giving emotional Speech | Luke Whittemore Photography

  1. Plan your thoughts out in Sections

    Even if you have the notes section on your phone full of random ideas, it helps to split them up into sections you can easily manage and see where they fit in. Your speech should be approached like a story with a clear beginning, middle and end to keep those listening engaged and part of it.
    Beginning example: By introducing yourself, people are bridging those connections and seeing where you fit in to this whole scenario! Unless you’re one of the two people getting hitched of course, not everyone will know exactly who is who.

  2. Be Inclusive

    The whole reason you and all the people around you are sharing the experience of the wedding day is because you all share something in common, whether it’s family, friends, partners or colleagues. This is your community and no one wants to feel excluded or “out of the loop” so keep your tales relevant and not too wild… As good as it is for the best man to poke fun at the groom and share your wild tales of recklessness and youth, don’t dwell on it! Keep everyone involved and by all means reveal those moments making people feel they’re being given something new that they may not have known before.. Therefore making them feel closer. Which is what it’s all about right?!

  3. I’m Not Crying, You Are!

    Tug on those heart strings all you like. We all love a bit of emotion in a speech. If you can make them cry, laugh and everything in between in just a few minutes of the speech you’ll be a hero. Photographing this is also loads more fun (Just a hint)

  4. Read the Room & Be Respectful

    It seems pretty obvious, though I’m sure we’ve all been in a situation where someone has said something so cringeworthy that it just makes you want to slide down under the table and spontaneously combust just to get the flip outta there!
    Yes, you might need to be looking down to read your hilariously funny anecdotes out, but also take a look around the room and take note of a) the people in attendance and b) their reactions. It might throw you off course a little if you have to skip a section of your speech out but Hey, you ain’t winning any awards for it anyway.. So just go for it!
    There is most likely going to be a pretty wide age range in attendance so bare that in mind, keep it (relatively) clean.

  5. BE INVENTIVE!

    Slideshows are great. Just make sure you’re well prepared and have it all setup properly beforehand...I’ve seen a couple of shit shows in this department. Sun blaring so you couldn’t even see the screen for the slideshow, not hooked up to the PA system so the video and sound clips were absolutely pointless. YEP, it’s painful to watch and guests are just left confused and bored. So just make sure you’re prepared.

    Not everyone is a great film maker or editor, but if you do just so happen to be.. A well thought out video presentation will go down a storm!
    Props can also be a great way to keep people engaged and entertained! Just, again… Keep things relevant!

    Everyone by now has seen the Tom from McFly video with his charming song reworded into a wedding speech. You could do that.

  6. Do Your Research

    Along with planning out exactly how you’re going to write out your speech in sections, do some research into topics relating to your speech and/or the couple. A famous quote that you can throw in there is a great way to begin a speech, it’ll help set the mood, settle you in to your speech and give the people something to think about and how it relates to the day.

  7. If you’re feelin’ it. Don’t forget, you CAN go rogue!!

    If you’re vibin’ away and you feel like you can, throw away your speech and say what comes naturally! It seems simple but when you are standing up in front of a load of people giving a speech, it’s easy to forget that you can just go off script.. I’ll absolutely hold my hands up to this one. I read my wedding speech out word for word and I wish I had taken a moment to look away and let the moment take hold a little more.
    So I would go as far as to say, “WRITE THIS INTO YOUR SPEECH” to remind yourself that you can be a rebel… tear up that paper and say what’s on your mind! The stage is yours to behold. Own it!

  8. Do Not Leave It Until the Last Minute!

    You don’t want to be stressing out the night before a wedding, rushing and trying to write out a speech.. Let’s be honest, it won’t be very good, it won’t be well planned out and everyone will notice that you didn’t really put much effort in and they’ll have a good little natter about it when you’re out of earshot and then probably forget all about it.. But that’s not the point is it?
    Going back to the start, plan it out in sections.. Your wedding speech doesn’t have to be long but it does need to be well planned.

  9. Throw out the Rule Book.

    I know, I’m giving all these guidelines on how to write a speech but they’re are just that, simple hints and tips. I don’t want to tell you what to do but I also definitely don’t want you to go on to some of these terribly traditional wedding speech writing sites which tell you that you must pluck a ripe feather from a swan’s arse to write your speech with and everyone in the room will want to vomit and it’ll tell you to be everything that you are not.. This blog is all about being yourself and letting you know that there are actually no rules and everything is made up and the stage is yours to take, my friend!
    By all means, be romantic, make it emotional.. Above all (again) keep it relevant and stay true.

  10. Throw out the Speeches all together?!

    Whilst we’re being all controversial, why not just not do speeches?? If you’re going for a low-key relaxed type of wedding, there might be no need for them at all.
    It’s all something to consider, I’m a pretty firm believer that you should be acknowledging the good folks in attendance and a short speech to give gratitude. It is a great thing and above all, is the key to a good speech and once you’ve realised your why in writing a speech and not just “because that’s what happens”. It all comes down to being thankful, celebrating the awesome human beings you’re surrounded by and being in the moment.

Emotional speech from the Groom had Grandma in Tears! at The West Mill, Derbyshire | Luke Whittemore Photography

Best man /Bridesdude /Man of Honour giving his speech at The Admiral Hornblower, Oakham, Leicestershire | Luke Whittemore Photography

Thirsty for more Hints & Tips?!
Hit me up & I’ll send over my Wedding guide for you to check out.